Living the Facts of Life
by LoisAndClarkSuperfan
Summary: Years ago, the girls were torn apart by a tragedy that changed their lives forever. Now, nine years later they are reunited to help Mrs. Garrett through a tragedy of her own and are forced to face the past and embrace the future together. (A very old fanfic that I've resurrected on this site.)
1. Chapter 1

**Hello All! This is a story I wrote back in 2000. It was my first-ever fanfic. As I've read through it, I definitely notice that my writing style has changed quite a bit over the years. I thought I'd go ahead and post it though. This used to be on the old Facts of Life Fanfiction site and had some good reviews over there, so I hope even though it is an oldie, it's still something people can enjoy! It's a Christmas story...so just pretend it's Christmas in July. :)**

Beverly Ann Stickle sat alone in the living room. It was quiet, quieter than it had ever been in this house. Her sister, Edna, was upstairs asleep. It seemed that Edna slept a lot lately. She had not been herself since the death of her husband Bruce. It had been almost eight weeks and Edna still refused to talk about it. Bruce had died suddenly of a heart attack. It was unexpected and Edna refused to bounce back from the tragedy.

To make matters worse, it was almost Christmas. Beverly Ann and Edna would be spending their first Christmas alone in years. Edna's children never seemed to write or call and were always too busy to visit. Beverly Ann's son, Andy had chosen to celebrate the holidays in Colorado with his fiancée and her family. At twenty-eight, Andy was the youngest professor on staff at Langley College, and his fiancée, Gina, was a third grade teacher. Beverly Ann knew they deserved a break from Peekskill. She just wished they had not chosen to go away this Christmas. As much as she wanted to be strong for Edna, she knew she needed someone there to help her.

Beverly Ann wished there was something she could do to make the holiday special. Neither she, nor Edna, was getting any younger. Bruce's death had made Beverly Ann think of her own mortality and now she wanted to live every day to the fullest, and she wanted that for her sister also. She knew she had to think of a way to bring the old Edna back, a way to save Edna from her own self-pity. Beverly Ann hated to think of what might happen if she did not succeed.

Edna Garrett Gaines was alone in her bedroom. She had told her sister she was taking a nap, but she could not seem to fall asleep. She felt so alone. Beverly Ann was always there for her, but Edna knew there was no way her sister understand what she was going through. So many important people were gone from Edna's life. She had always felt there would be time to mend broken relationships; time to tell everyone how she felt about them. Now she wasn't so sure. Without even a moment's notice, time could run out.

She thought about her husband Bruce. They had been arguing over some little thing the day he died. Edna never told him she was sorry. Her last words to him had been out of anger. She hoped he knew she loved him. She knew he did, but she still wished things had ended differently. Why was she always so stubborn?  
She thought back to Bruce's funeral. It was a brisk afternoon. The sky was gray and sadness hung in the air. Beverly Ann was there of course. Andy and Gina were there too, and a few people Bruce had befriended in the neighborhood, but no one else. Edna's children had called to offer their condolences, but they could not seem to pull themselves away from their busy careers in order to comfort their mother in her time of need. Edna had not expected her sons to come. They had never been close to Bruce, but their absence made the day even harder to bear.

Then Edna began to think about the girls. They had been absent from Bruce's funeral as well. Even though Edna asked her not to, Beverly Ann had called all of the girls to tell them about Bruce's death. Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie had each sent flowers and a card, but they were not at the funeral. Edna knew why. It was because of her. She had ended her relationship with the girls years ago. It was out of love that she had done it, even if they didn't understand that at the time. But now, sitting alone with her grief, she wondered if she had made the right choice. Sitting in the darkness of her bedroom, thinking of the past, Edna began to cry.

Beverly Ann took a tray of her tofu soup up to her sister. Even though Edna had not been eating much lately, her sister still made the effort. She balanced the tray on her knee and knocked on the door. Edna didn't answer, so Beverly Ann gently pushed the door open. She did not want to wake her sister, but planned to leave the tray on her nightstand. When she opened the door, she found Edna crying. It was the first real sign of emotion Beverly Ann had seen her sister express in weeks. She sat and the bed, putting the tray on the nightstand and embraced her sister, holding her as she cried.

Edna told Beverly Ann how much she missed Bruce. She told her that her life felt incomplete. She admitted that she wished things had been different with the girls. If they were still part of her life, she felt things would be easier now. She had always been there for them, but they had been there for her too. It was because of them that she had had the courage to marry Bruce in the first place. It had been so hard for her to leave them and her life in Peekskill, but they told her to go for it, and she did. When she and Bruce moved back to Peekskill, the girls had all moved out, but they helped her get her store up and running again. Beverly Ann had given up on Over Our Heads and the girls had not had time to run it, but they managed to find time to help Edna and Bruce start up business again. It wasn't until tragedy struck all of their lives that the girls turned on each other. Edna could not stand to see them fighting, hurting, and avoiding each other. She would not allow it in her house. It was then that she gave the girls an ultimatum. They had to forgive each other and come into her house together, or none of them would be welcome there again. That had been nine years ago. She had not seen them since.

When Edna finished telling her sister about the pain she was feeling, she had expected to feel better, but she didn't. She still felt so empty and alone. Beverly Ann knew that only one thing could make this Christmas all right for Edna. She had a plan. She just hoped it would work.


	2. Chapter 2

Blair Warner was sitting in the boardroom listening as the Eastland Board of Trustees discussed their plans for the school. Blair had owned the school for thirteen years now, spending one year as the school's headmistress, but the board never trusted her ideas. All they did was belittle her plans and dismiss her ideas as impossible. She feared they would choose to close the school, and without their support, she knew she could not keep it going. Many parents had decided not to re-enroll their children after Christmas Break. Although Blair thought the school could deal with the small decline in enrollment, she just learned that the school counselor, Fran Gellman, had turned in her resignation in order to move to Texas. It would be almost impossible to find a replacement by the time school reconvened, and many parents were leery of leaving their children alone in a strange place without someone to talk to about their problems or feelings. Everyone loved Mrs. Gellman. She was an Eastland graduate herself and her daughter attended there. The parents and students felt she knew first-hand what they were feeling.

Blair was trying to convince the board that she would find someone suitable to replace Mrs. Gellman. The board agreed, but informed her that if she was unable to find a replacement, or if enrollment continued to go down, they would vote to close the school. Blair tried to look confident, but she was as unsure as any of them as to whether or not Eastland would be open next year.

The boardroom emptied out and Blair gathered her things. As she reached for her brief case, she heard her cell phone ring. She answered it expecting to hear more bad news from Eastland's headmaster, but it was not the headmaster. It was Beverly Ann.

Beverly Ann told Blair about Edna. She told her how Edna longed to see the girls, and then she asked Blair to help her. Blair wanted to help, but she did not know if she could. She had been so hurt and her own pain had not fully healed. She also felt guilty for what she had done. She did not know if she could face these women who had once been like sisters to her. She didn't know if they would want to face her. She wasn't sure she was brave enough to try.

Blair asked Beverly Ann if she had called the others. Blair thought if they had agreed, then she would too. Beverly Ann had not called them though. She had started with Blair. She told Blair that unless she agreed, it would be worthless to call the others. Blair had to be the first. A reunion would depend on her decision. She thought about Mrs. G., alone and scared. She knew what she had to do. She had to agree to Beverly Ann's plan. Blair Warner had to make the first move. She had a phone call to make. She wasn't sure she could do it.

Blair walked through the double doors of her Peekskill home. She had never intended on staying in Peekskill, but Eastland had become her life and she needed to stay close. Besides, the house was perfect. It was a spacious, beautifully decorated house, and all Blair's. There were six bedrooms, a living room, a dining room, and a kitchen Blair rarely used. Every room was professionally decorated and filled with antiques and artwork. It seemed empty though. There was no Christmas tree, even though the holiday was just days away. Blair had not had a tree in years. As she looked over the list of phone numbers Beverly Ann had given her, the silence of the house seemed almost chilling. She looked at the picture over the fireplace. She tried not to get emotional, but was unsuccessful. It was her wedding picture.

Blair thought about Danny Westcott, her husband. Her late-husband. She thought about how he died and how she had learned the truth that day. She thought about how she had kept that secret for the last nine years. She wished she had told the truth. She couldn't tell now, especially if she wanted the others to forgive her. Their reunion depended on her silence. She had to stick to her story.

Blair picked up the phone. She didn't know what to say. She was almost scared to hear Jo's voice. It would be like a hearing from a ghost. Beverly Ann only had Jo's work number. Maybe she wouldn't be there. Then Blair would be off the hook. Then she thought about Mrs. G. She knew how it felt to be so alone. She had to do this. She took a deep breath and dialed the number.


	3. Chapter 3

Jo Polniaczek walked out of her small office. She looked in the waiting room at the small children and parents waiting to see her. She had worked as an SRS counselor for eight years, but she still had to brace herself for the stories she heard. Abuse, neglect, hunger, and these were the successful cases. Children worse off than these had been removed from their homes. Jo was assigned to the children who were still living at home, the children whose parents were making an effort. Sometimes she thought these parents were being given too many chances. Sometimes she thought they deserved to lose their kids. Then she would help a family change their lives for the better, and that renewed her faith.

Jo was about to call the next family into her office when her supervisor, Don Haney, called to her. He always had something negative to say about the way she chose to deal with her families. She dreaded talking to him, but she went into his office just the same. She sat in the chair and looked across his desk. She could tell from his expression that the news was not good. He started with the words "I'm sorry…" and Jo knew what was coming next. There had been so many cutbacks lately. The state had stopped much of the funding for needy families. Jo had worried about many of the families they helped, but before now she hadn't thought to worry about herself. Then Don Haney told her she was fired. They just did not have enough money to pay her. Jo could barely believe what she was being told. She had been there for eight years, but there were six other counselors with seniority over her. She didn't know what to do. She thought about Christmas. She thought about her children. She thought about her ex-husband Rick who never had enough money to pay child support or help out. She thought about her other problem, the one she had not told anyone. Don Haney offered Jo a severance check. It was two weeks salary. She took it, trying to think of how she could make it stretch to pay the bills.

Jo ran out of Haney's office. She informed the receptionist to give her cases to the six other counselors. Then she went to pack up her office. She was busy throwing pictures and knickknacks into a box when the receptionist came to the door. "You have a phone call," the woman said. Jo angrily looked at her and told her to tell the caller she no longer worked there. She threw another picture into the box.

She was carrying the box through the lobby when she heard the receptionist on the phone. "I am sorry Ms. Warner, but Ms. Polniaczek is no longer employed here. No, I cannot give out her home number." Jo thought for a moment about what she had heard. The receptionist had said "Warner." It couldn't be Blair, could it? Jo looked at the receptionist and told her she would take the call. She walked back to her former-office and picked up the phone. Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the voice on the other end of the line.


	4. Chapter 4

Jo was still shaken from the call she had received at work. She opened the door to her apartment and dropped her box of work things on the floor. She was walking toward the bathroom when she tripped over some blocks on the living room floor. She looked around and saw the breakfast dishes still dirty in the kitchen sink. Her daughter Ricki was supposed to have done them before she left for school, but obviously she had not. She looked at the small tabletop Christmas tree her kids had decorated. She wondered what the holiday would be like this year. Jo walked on to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She wondered what had happened to her life. She thought about Mrs. G. and the things Blair had said, and tears filled her eyes. As much as she wanted to keep being angry at Blair, the nightmare Mrs. Garrett was living through was enough for her to force her anger aside.

The front door opened and Jo heard the familiar sound of her children's laughter. Their father had picked them up from school and daycare. He promised to have them home by 5:00, but it was after 5:30. Jo walked into the living room. Twelve-year-old Ricki reached for the phone, but Jo took it out of her hand. "Dishes," she said to her daughter, who then pouted as she went into the kitchen.

"I'll help her," offered Jordyn. She picked up her crutches and went into the kitchen. Jordyn was nine. She had spent much of her young life in and out of hospitals. She was unable to walk for the first three years of her life, but now she moved easily with the crutches. As Jo watched her leave the room, she thought again about her phone-call from Blair.

Jo hugged her five-year-old daughter Charli and asked her to take her little sister into the other room to play. Two-year-old Katie kissed her mother and then followed her sister. Jo looked at Rick, who had been standing there, not looking very eager to leave. "I need to talk to you," she said, as she opened up the front door and he followed her outside.

Jo and Rick had not been outside long, but the silence between the two was disturbing. "I know what your going to say, but I am not changing my mind," Rick's voice was serious and stern. "We cannot have this baby. We already have four kids we can't support. We've been divorced for over a year, and just because we made a mistake one night does not mean our whole family has to suffer for it."

Jo looked down at the ground. She didn't want to talk about this now. When she first found out she was pregnant again, she knew Rick would be angry. She wasn't happy either. She was heartbroken...disappointed in herself for sleeping with her ex-husband, and sick over the result of their moment of weakness. Ironically, it was the night Beverly Ann had called to tell her Bruce had died. She had been so upset and wanted to go to Peekskill right then, but Rick had talked her out of it. She felt she needed him that night, but now she knew it was a mistake. After much discussion, they had agreed to an abortion, but she had not been able to go through with it yet. She knew Rick was afraid she wouldn't do it. She was afraid she _couldn't_ do it. She thought it was wrong, but she saw no other choice. She couldn't raise five children on her own, and she hated herself for not being more responsible. "That is not what I want to talk to you about," she said. "I just wanted you to know I am taking the girls to Peekskill for Christmas."

Rick couldn't believe his ears. How could she do that? After all that had happened there, he had vowed never to let his family near that place again. "Why?" was the only response he could manage. Jo told him about the phone-call from Blair and about Mrs. G., but it didn't make any difference to him. "You are _not_ taking my children back to that place! How can you forgive Blair for what she did to us?" Rick was screaming now, something he rarely did. His face was red with anger, as he ran his fingers through his hair and tried to calm himself before he said something he'd regret later.

"I did things too, Rick," Jo pleaded. "She needed me and I wasn't there for her. I know she sided with Danny, but he was her husband. She _had_ to believe him, just like I _had_ to believe you. A lot of what she did was out of pain and I should have understood. I should have been there for her." Jo spoke through her tears. She knew he did not understand.

"You needed her too, but she wasn't there for you. You sat _alone_ in that hospital waiting for Jordyn to get better, and what did Blair do? She made it so I could not even be with you and our daughter. I was in jail fighting to prove my innocence because of her. And what about the rest of them? Natalie, are you forgiving her too?" He sighed, trying to remain calm. He was more hurt than angry, all the old feelings resurfacing. "I don't understand this Jo."

"They were my family. They were all I had for a long time. We all made mistakes. I _want_ to give them another chance. I want them to give _me_ another chance." Jo was almost hysterical in her crying. "I need to do this!"

"Fine," Rick knew he wouldn't win this argument. She was going to take the kids and go to Peekskill, and the thought of it scared him to death. "You do this. Just don't expect me to have any part of it," he sputtered angrily. "You _never_ believed me. You _still_ blame me for what happened, that's why you want to go back to _them_." Then he climbed in his car, slammed the door, and sped off.  
Jo wished what he had said were not true. She knew that deep down part of her did blame him for what happened. She walked back into the house. Ricki and Jordyn had finished the dishes and were now picking up toys out of the living room. Charli and Katie were watching a video. Jo decided to use part of her severance money to take her children out for pizza. When she got back and put them to bed, it would be her turn to complete part of Beverly Ann's plan. She would call Natalie.


	5. Chapter 5

Natalie Green sat at her computer. She'd had writer's block for days and her editor wanted her new book out by spring. She'd begun to write many times, but the ideas all fell through. She wasn't sure what she would do. Natalie reached for her dictionary. Sometimes if she just picked it up and read a page or two, a word would catch her interest and give her an idea. She opened the book to a random page, but this time it was not a word that captured her attention. It was a piece of paper, carefully pressed between the pages of the dictionary. She knew what it was instantly. She had put it there years ago, but had forgotten about it. It was a newspaper article, the article that had started her career. Looking at it, all her guilt came flooding back and she wished it had remained hidden.

She looked at the article for a moment. The headline read _Local Man Is Guilty_. Natalie hadn't wanted to write the article, but her boss at the Peekskill Press had insisted. She was close enough to get the truth, he had said. She'd always questioned whether or not she made the right choice. Natalie looked up from the worn newspaper clipping to stare at the only picture on her desk. It was a picture of a boy, blond, smiling, holding a baseball bat. It was her eight-year-old son Noah. She loved him more than anything and she had done this for him.

Natalie met Noah's father Scott when she moved to Soho to begin her writing career. Scott was a doctor, and one of her many roommates in the small apartment. They started out as friends, but became much more. Natalie even broke off her long-time relationship with her boyfriend Snake, in order to devote more time to Scott. Before long though, it was apparent that Scott was not the man for Natalie. He was too wrapped up in his career and she in hers. They called it quits after a few years, and she moved back to Peekskill. It was then that Natalie discovered she was pregnant. Although Scott offered to help out, Natalie wanted to support herself and her child. Scott wanted to be a dad, and she was afraid he would fight for custody of the baby if she could not support them both. That was when she took the job at the Peekskill Press and why she had written the article.

Natalie looked at the article again. She read bits and pieces of it. _"Police have been investigating the truth about this accident,"_ she read._ "It is believed that the driver was under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Results of a tox screen done at the scene are being evaluated, and conflicting reports leave police unsure of whom was actually in the driver's seat. Both men had left the vehicle before police arrived to find the car smashed into a tree. The men were attempting to rescue their children, whom were also involved in the accident, from the mangled vehicle. Six month old Deborah Westcott was killed instantly, while three month old Jordyn Bonner remains in critical condition."_ Natalie wanted to end her article there, but her boss had been adamant about her finding the truth. Who was responsible?

Natalie knew that Rick had been drinking beer, but she was sure Danny had been sober when they left Over Our Heads that day. She had been there. She was helping Jo, Blair, and Tootie plan an anniversary party for Mrs. G. and Bruce. Blair had talked Jo into leaving the babies in daycare for the day, but Jo's oldest daughter Ricki had insisted on coming with them. She was playing upstairs with Mrs. G. and Beverly Ann. The two men had been watching TV all afternoon when Blair asked them to pick the babies up from daycare. Rick insisted that Danny drive because he had been drinking, and Danny agreed. But somewhere between the daycare center and the shop, something happened and the car swerved off the road at high speed crashing into a tree. Rick swore that Danny had begun acting erratic in the car that day, swerving on and off the road. He insisted Danny was acting drunk and that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the wheel away from him as he crashed them into the tree. In all the years she'd known him, Natalie had never seen Danny drink. He was a highly respected and very wealthy businessman who had been upfront about growing up in a home plagued by his father's alcoholism. He always said that alcohol could ruin a man's career and also his family. The police agreed that Danny was acting erratic and anxious that day, but they said it could have been attributed to shock. Rick failed the breathalyzer test at the scene, Danny passed it, and they didn't have any witnesses other than the two men to show who was actually driving. That is what Natalie put in her article._ "It is believed that Rick Bonner, who was legally intoxicated at the scene, was responsible for this tragic accident."_

Natalie always felt guilty for what she had written. She didn't know the truth...it was just speculation. She still found it hard to believe that Rick would drink and drive, especially with the kids in the car, but she didn't think Danny would either. Both men pointed fingers at each other, and Danny's prominence in the community led to the police taking his side immediately. Eventually one of the techs from the police lab came forward stating the toxicology reports were invalid due to accidental contamination of the samples. The lab results could not be used to prove anyone's guilt or innocence. Rick insisted Danny had paid off someone at the lab to keep his own report hidden, and then Blair and Danny had pressed charges against Rick, accusing him of killing their daughter. Rick had been arrested for vehicular manslaughter, but eventually the case was dismissed due to lack of evidence. It didn't matter though that the case was dismissed...the entire community had already convicted him. People would egg Jo and Rick's house and send death threats to the hospital where their own child was recovering from the accident. Jo couldn't go to the grocery store without people spewing threats at her and once she returned to the parking lot to see the word _Murderer_ spray painted across her windshield. Natalie knew everyone blamed her, because she was the first one to say Rick was guilty in her article, and since she knew both couples everyone believed she wouldn't lie. But her boss was going to fire her if she didn't write what he wanted to read...She was pregnant...She had to think of her baby. She had tried for almost a decade to justify her reasons for writing that article.

Natalie always felt guilty that this was the article to jump-start her writing career. She had been offered a book deal to turn the story into a tell-all crime novel, and she'd done it. The book was a hit, bringing her speculated version of their tragedy into homes all across the country. She finally had the success she thought she deserved, but it had been at the expense of her friends. After that first book, there were many others and writing became everything to her. In fact, Natalie became so caught up in her career, she had time for very little else, and it wasn't long before Scott took Natalie to court to fight for custody of Noah. He won, and now Natalie found herself an every-third-weekend, every-other-holiday mother to her son. She claimed to have done all of this for Noah, but she had lost him as well. She'd begun to regret her decisions. Why had she found this article now? It brought back too many painful memories for her. She tore it up, and threw it in the wastepaper basket. She needed to get back to work.


	6. Chapter 6

Natalie had been working for almost an hour. She would write, delete, re-write, but she was getting nowhere. It was almost 8:00. Scott was supposed to call her to tell her when to pick up Noah, but the phone had been silent all evening. Natalie was excited to get her son for the holiday. She was Jewish, but Scott had raised Noah as a Christian. Natalie had celebrated many Christmas holidays with her friends in Peekskill, so she decided to do Christmas for Noah this year. Two years ago, she had tried to expose him to Hanukkah, but he wasn't as interested as she had hoped. He missed the tree and Santa Claus. Natalie had felt hurt, but she thought she would wait until he was older. This year would have to be Christmas.

She was thinking of ways to brighten her son's holiday when the phone rang. It was Scott telling her she could pick up her son the following afternoon. With that, Natalie hung up, turned off her computer, and decided to watch a little television. She had just picked up the remote control when the phone rang again. She picked it up, and stood numbed by the voice she heard on the other end. "This is Jo," the caller said. "I have something to say to you."

As Natalie hung up the phone, she thought back to her experiences earlier in the day. When she had found the article, she had not expected this. Jo had told her how Mrs. G. was depressed over losing Bruce and how she wanted all of them back in her life. Jo had said the plan was Beverly Ann's idea and that they needed to do it for Mrs. G. Natalie could not believe Blair had made amends with Jo. Even more, she could not believe Jo had forgiven her, but she heard it with her own ears. Now it was up to her to call Tootie.

Natalie thought about the last conversation she had had with her best friend. Tootie had called her selfish. She blamed Natalie for breaking up their little group. If it had been up to Tootie, they would all be living over Mrs. G.'s store to this very day, but that wasn't possible and she had to grow up and face it. Still, if not for Natalie's article, Blair and Jo might have been able to reconcile after their hearts healed a little. Natalie looked at the phone number Jo had given her. She knew she had to call Tootie, but she needed more time. She decided to sleep on it. After all, she was almost positive that Tootie would not listen to her, and she wouldn't blame her one bit.

Tootie Ramsey sat next to her husband Jeff. She had anticipated this interview for months, but now that it was here, she was scared. She did not know what frightened her more, being turned down or being accepted. The woman from the adoption agency, Ms. Mulligan, made several comments about their luxurious Los Angeles home. "It is really a lovely house," she said. "I love what you've done with the nursery. It is obvious this child would be loved." Love proved to be a popular word with this woman.

Tootie thought about the three weeks she and Jeff had spent decorating the nursery. They were excited as they hung the yellow duckling wallpaper and put together the wooden baby crib. They had tried for almost four years to have a baby before the doctors told them it was impossible. It was then that they had decided to adopt. Tootie knew so many people who had adopted children in a timely manner. It seemed to be the celebrity thing to do, but Tootie really wanted her own biological child. Now that dream was gone.  
She imagined the tabloids going crazy with the news of the adoption. "_Soap Opera Star Unable to Have Children._" "_Hollywood Star Buys Baby_." She had seen similar stories appear on the front page of gossip magazines. It was the curse of her profession. The more she thought of the crazy rumors that would surround the adoption, the more frightened she became. Still, she knew this was the last chance to have the family she and Jeff had always wanted. Other celebrities, friends of hers even, had gone through the same ordeal and survived. In fact, Tootie thought, she should consider herself lucky. Most couples had to wait years for a child, but her fame pushed her name up higher on the list and cut a lot of red tape. African American babies were harder to place, so that helped as well.

Tootie turned her attention back to Ms. Mulligan. She told the woman how much she and Jeff wanted this baby. She told her about Jeff's career as a marine biologist, as well as her own acting career, and how they would be able to provide for the child. This was really just a formality. Tootie and Jeff had already been approved by the agency, but they were required to endure one last home visit. Ms. Mulligan was impressed with the couple. She offered congratulations to them.

Tootie thought she might cry. She had seen the baby for the first time just four weeks ago. He was living in a foster home, and she and Jeff had been permitted to spend an afternoon with him. She had fallen in love with his big brown eyes and his charming smile. Now this fourteen-month-old baby boy was going to be her son. Suddenly her fear began to overshadow her joy. What if she was a bad mother? What if her career took too much time away from the baby?

Ms. Mulligan looked at Tootie as if she knew what was going through her mind at that moment. "You will be a wonderful mother," the woman said. Tootie smiled and tried to look confident in herself. Ms. Mulligan went on to tell them that as soon as the paperwork was started, they would be able to bring their little boy home. She would try to rush the paperwork through, but she told the couple not to put off any holiday plans. It may be after New Year's before the baby came to live with them. With one more smile, she left and Tootie and Jeff hugged each other tight, breathing a sigh of relief.

Tootie was afraid to reveal her fears of becoming a mother to Jeff. He wouldn't understand. He wanted this baby so much. So did she, but maybe not as much as he did. Tootie was happy with her life. She loved her part on the daytime soap opera _Family Secrets_. She was not anxious to give it up for dirty diapers and tiny jars of mashed carrots. Still, she wanted this child. She had always wanted to be a mommy. Maybe her self-doubt was normal. Jeff on the other hand had no doubts. He had already planned this child's life through college. He even agreed to spend most days at home with the baby so Tootie could continue her career. She considered herself lucky to have him for a husband and knew this child was lucky Jeff was going to be his father.

There was one more fear Tootie had about this child. It really was more about adoption. What if her son simply decided she was not good enough? What if one day, he wanted to find his birth mother? Tootie didn't know if she would be able to handle this should the situation arise. She remembered how her best friend Natalie had wanted to find her birth mother, and Natalie's adopted mom was the best parent in the world. Mrs. Green was way more capable than Tootie ever imagined she could be. Still, Natalie felt a longing for the woman who had given birth to her. Tootie tried to put the thought out of her mind. Natalie was selfish anyway. She never seemed to think about the consequences to her actions, the people she hurt along the way. Natalie had broken apart the relationships Tootie considered most important in her life, the friendship she had with her childhood roommates, with Mrs. G. She had lost the people she loved most in her life because of Natalie's mistake. Tootie would raise her son to be better than that. He would love and respect his family and friends. He would never be the cause of anyone else's pain.

It was at this moment that Tootie wished she had someone to share her good news with. She was going to be a mother. She was going to do the most important thing any person could do. She was thinking about the wonderful changes that were about to take place in her life, when her thoughts were interrupted. The telephone was ringing. When Tootie answered the phone, she was speechless. It was Natalie, the last person she ever expected to hear from right now.

Tootie listened as Natalie explained the reason for the call. She couldn't believe there was a chance that she would be reunited with her best friends. She thought about Blair and Jo. She wondered what they had been up to all these years. She wondered if they knew she had made it as an actress. Although Tootie was still angry with Natalie, the sound of her voice was a comfort she had missed for years. She could tell Natalie felt the same. She needed this reunion. It seemed to be the perfect time to welcome these old friends back into her life. She hoped Jeff would agree.

Tootie was folding baby clothes when Jeff came home. He walked up behind her and kissed her. She turned around and smiled at him, but he could tell something was going on. "What's the matter?" he asked. "Is something wrong?"

Tootie told Jeff that nothing was wrong. In fact, everything was wonderful. She told him about the call from Natalie and about the reunion. She told him they would need to leave right away. She would need to call soon for airline reservations.

Jeff seemed less than thrilled. "Why do you want to go back there?" he asked. "I know you miss your friends, but we need to stay here. What about the baby? Ms. Mulligan is trying to push through the paperwork. Don't you want to be here when your son arrives?"

Tootie knew Jeff would say that. He didn't understand that she needed this trip, if only as her one last vacation before becoming a mother. "Ms. Mulligan said not to postpone any holiday plans," she said to her husband. "She does not plan on giving the baby to us until after Christmas. We'll be back by then. Please Jeff?"

Jeff wasn't convinced. "You go if you want to, but I am staying here. No trip is more important than my son!" He walked out of the room.

She didn't know what to do. Right now, her friends seemed more important than Jeff, and what he wanted her to do. But was she being unfair to the baby? She didn't think so. If anything, this trip could bring all of her friends together, and that would provide an extended family for her son. That was a good thing. She had made her decision. She knew she'd miss spending the holiday with her husband, but eventually he would understand. She called the airline to reserve one plane ticket to New York.


	7. Chapter 7

In less than forty-eight hours, Beverly Ann had received four phone-calls accepting her plan. The reunion would happen, but now she was a little worried. Her plans never went quite as expected. She hoped Edna would be pleased. She hoped that reuniting the girls would bring them all close together again, and not stir up more anger and hurt feelings. Each of the girls had asked her specifically about the others...what their lives were like now, how they should react when faced with one another. It was probably the first time any of them had asked her for advice and she didn't have any to give. She'd told each of them that they'd need time to get to know one another again and it wasn't her place to be the go between. She'd suggested the four friends meet at a local diner around 12:30, before coming together to the house, and they all agreed. It was already 11:00.

She'd decided not to tell Edna the girls were coming. She knew it would disappoint her if one of them were to change her mind. Beverly Ann just hoped this plan was one of her better ones. Her ideas usually failed miserably. She did not think anyone could handle a disaster, and the more she thought about it she had to admit with the tragedy they had endured, this reunion was a disaster waiting to happen .

Blair took one last look at herself in the mirror. Her makeup was flawless, her new blue suit screamed success, and her blond hair was twisted neatly at the back of her head. She knew she looked beautiful. Her friends would be impressed. Then she stopped to think about what she was doing. After all these years, she still wanted to impress Jo, Natalie, and Tootie with her looks. They knew better then anyone that Blair was not whom she appeared to be. Who was she trying to fool? She decided to go more casual, and changed into a pair of beige slacks and a navy blue sweater. Then she took her hair down and let it fall straight down over her shoulders. She was not going to put on a show today. She wanted to be as open and honest as she could be. She wanted her friends back.

Blair started to open the door, but then she paused. She ran back to her bedroom and opened the closet door. She stood on a chair and pulled down a flowered hatbox from the top shelf. Taking the lid off the box, she pulled out a folded sheet of notebook paper. Stuffing the paper in her purse, she walked out the door

Jo had just driven past the sign that read "Welcome to Peekskill." She looked to the back seat of her car to see Charli and Katie both sleeping. They always fell asleep in the car. Jordyn was sitting between them reading a book. Next to her mother, Ricki was listening to music with her headphones. Jo touched her, and Ricki looked up. "I'm stopping here for a minute," Jo told her daughter. "Watch your sisters."

"You're stopping here," the twelve-year-old looked around. "Isn't this a cemetery?"

"I want to put flowers on Bruce's grave. I'll hurry." Jo grabbed the small bouquet of flowers she had brought and closed the car door.

Ricki watched as her mother made her way across the cemetery. The graves all looked pretty much the same. She wondered which one was Bruce's. She felt sort of sad thinking of him. She remembered him a little. When she was younger, Mrs. G. and Bruce had been like an extra set of grandparents to her. Finally she saw her mother stop and place the flowers on one of the graves. She expected her to come back to the car, but she didn't. Jo kept walking further into the cemetery.

"What is Mom doing?" Jordyn asked her older sister. "I thought that was Bruce's grave."

"I don't know," Ricki answered. "You know Mom. I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

Jo had placed the flowers on Bruce's grave. That was all she had planned to do, but something was pulling her to the other side of the cemetery. She walked a bit further, and then she stopped. Tears were running down her cheek as she knelt down to a small grave. It read, "Deborah Joanne Westcott, our beloved daughter."

Jo had never visited the gravesite before. She hadn't been welcome there. She thought about the baby girl. She had always been so happy. Her smile made everyone else smile. Jo thought she must be the most beautiful angel in heaven. She reached behind her neck to undo the clasp on her gold cross necklace. She removed the necklace and placed it on the baby's grave. Jo was almost whispering as she spoke to her friend's long-lost daughter. "I know you are in a better place, Debbie Jo and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. We all loved you." Jo looked up at the sky, her eyes red from crying. "God, I don't know why you took her, but thank you for leaving Jordyn with me. I don't know how Blair ever survived this. I would not have been that strong. It would have killed me." She felt queasy looking at the gravestone, thinking about the accident and all the chaos that had ensued afterward, and gently placed her hand on her stomach, thinking of the new baby she wasn't going to have, and she couldn't stop herself from crying even harder. "I'm so sorry..." she sobbed.

Wiping away her tears, she glanced over at the grave next to Debbie Jo's. She knew who was buried here. It was Blair's husband Danny. She looked at the grave and thought again about that day when their lives had been torn apart. Only Danny and Rick knew the truth about that day, and Danny was so distraught over the death of his daughter that he had killed himself just six months after her death, on the day after what would have been the little girl's first birthday. Rick had always said he was innocent. She wanted to believe him, but she knew in her heart she didn't.

Jo began to walk back to her car. Her daughters were probably wondering what had happened to her. As she walked back to the car, she heard what sounded like footsteps crunching in the snow. She did not turn around to see.

The footsteps had been Blair's. She too had gone to the cemetery, but for a different reason. She wanted to talk to her husband. She knew it seemed silly, but she thought he could hear her. She had not expected to see Jo there. She kept herself hidden until Jo left, but then Blair walked over to the graves. Here, she felt almost peaceful. This was where her family was. She saw the cross necklace Jo had placed on Debbie Jo's grave. She touched it, and thought back to a time when they were all a family. She pulled the folded piece of notebook paper out of her purse. She opened it, and read it silently. Then she re-folded the paper and carefully placed it back in her purse. She spoke to her late husband as she looked at his grave. "I am going to tell her the truth, Danny. I hope you can forgive me, but it is not fair to keep it a secret any longer."


	8. Chapter 8

Natalie was trying to remember which road to turn on to get to the diner. "What did that street sign say?" she asked Noah. He just shrugged. He had been giving her the cold shoulder ever since he found out about the trip to Peekskill. He wanted to have Christmas at home and was not looking forward to a holiday with strangers. Natalie promised him it would be a great trip. She wished she could convince herself.

Finally she turned and there it was. The diner was old and almost empty. At least Tootie wouldn't be mobbed by fans here. As soon as her thoughts turned to Tootie, a taxi pulled up next to the diner. A woman in dark glasses emerged from inside the cab. She took out four suitcases and tipped the driver. Natalie knew who it was. She pulled her black jeep into a parking space and yelled to the woman. The reunion had officially started.

Natalie and Tootie entered the restaurant together. Noah walked behind them. No one had said a word since the parking lot. The two women sat at a table. Tootie had placed her suitcases in Natalie's jeep so as not to carry them in the diner. "Well, who is this?" Tootie asked looking at Noah. She knew he was probably Natalie's son, but she was in need of words to start off the conversation.

"This is my son, Noah." Natalie answered. "He is eight years old, straight A student, and nothing like me." Natalie began to laugh a little.

"Whatever, Mom," Noah replied in embarrassment. "Can I just sit over here?" He pointed to the table next to them.

Natalie nodded and turned her attention back to Tootie."So, do you and Jeff have any kids?" She asked, anxious to find out what had been going on in Tootie's life.

"No," Tootie answered. She wanted to tell her about the adoption, but decided against it. "We are not ready for kids yet."

The waitress came over. Both women ordered coffee and Noah ordered a soda. The waitress could not help herself. She had to ask for Tootie's autograph and added that _Family Secrets_ was her favorite show. She asked if they wanted to order anything to eat, but Natalie and Tootie decided to wait for their friends before they ordered lunch. Hopefully it would not be a long wait.

It was 12:32 when Jo pulled into the parking lot of the diner. She woke up her two youngest daughters and Ricki helped Jordyn out of the car. It was always hard for Jordyn to get in and out of vehicles with her crutches. Finally, they walked into the restaurant. Jo spotted Natalie and Tootie. She took a deep breath, and walked toward the table.

"Together again," she said with a nervous laugh. Natalie and Tootie looked up from their conversation to see their friend standing beside them. Tootie stood up and hugged Jo. "I've missed you," she whispered.

Natalie stood up too. "I didn't know this would be so hard," she said. "I'm sorry." Jo and Natalie hugged and Jo told Natalie that she was sorry too.

"We let this feud go on too long." she sighed. "I'm glad we're back together again." As the three women stood crying and hugging, Jo nearly forgot about her four children standing at the table. "Oh, these are my girls," she said to Natalie and Tootie. "You remember Ricki and Jordyn, and this is Charli and Katie."

"You girls have really grown," Natalie said looking at Ricki and Jordyn. "And the two little ones. Aren't you just precious." She looked at Jo. "Four kids. Guess you and Rick have been pretty busy?"

Jo tried to laugh. She knew Natalie was trying to ease the tension by making one of her little jokes. She wondered what everyone would think if they knew she was pregnant again. Divorced, unemployed, and pregnant. She was sure they would be surprised by her predicament. She had trouble believing it herself.

"Why don't you girls go and sit with Noah," Tootie suggested. "He's Nat's son. That's him right over there." The girls walked over to the table and sat with the boy. The waitress came and asked Jo what she wanted to order for the girls. She ordered milk for the girls and decaf coffee for herself. When the waitress brought the milk, all of the girls whined because Noah was drinking soda.

"You know I do not let you drink soda with meals," Jo told them. "It's not good for you. Drink the milk." She knew the girls thought she was mean, but Jordyn had to drink milk to strengthen her bones.

Natalie laughed a little. "You are such a good mom," she said sarcastically. " I guess I'll never learn what is good for my son."

"Nat, I did not mean that. Don't get upset with me. My daughter has to drink milk because she needs the calcium. I did not say you were a bad mom." Jo hated feeling like she had to defend herself.

"I know you didn't mean anything by it. I guess I'm just a little on edge." Natalie was interrupted before she could go on.

"So, I guess we all made it." Blair said, looking at all her friends. Natalie and Tootie both rose from their seats to hug Blair. They both made comments about how great she looked and Blair told Tootie that she had kept up on her career. Then Blair and Jo looked at each other. It had been nine years since these two women had been in the same room together. Neither of them knew what to do. "I'm sorry," they both said in unison. They hugged each other and both of them were crying. Natalie and Tootie joined in the hug and four grown women stood in the middle of a diner sobbing, crying, and apologizing to one another.

At the next table, five children sat and stared. They were not sure what to think.


	9. Chapter 9

Beverly Ann sat at home and waited for the sound of cars in the driveway. Edna had been upstairs most of the day, but she knew she had to bring her down soon. It was almost time for her surprise. "Edna, come on down," she called to her sister.

The last thing Edna wanted to do was go downstairs and listen to Beverly Ann, but she decided it was better than moping around in her room. She walked down the stairs.

"So, when do you think we should go get the Christmas tree?" Bev asked.

"How can you even think of a tree this year?" Edna questioned. She was not in the mood to celebrate.

"You never know," Bev answered. "This may be a Merry Christmas after all."

At the diner, all of the women were anxious to get to Mrs. G.'s house. They were excited over their rekindled friendship and wanted to include her. Still, the kids were all hungry, and so they decided to eat first and then make their way to the house they had not seen in years.  
After a bunch of small talk at lunch, they left the diner feeling more comfortable with one another. They were still somewhat shocked by all that had happened. Tootie asked if it would be okay for her to ride with Natalie and was thrilled when Natalie agreed. Jo was loading her children into the car when Ricki noticed the car next to them. "Wow, that is the nicest car I've ever seen," she gasped. "How could anyone ever afford a car like that?"

"I see you take after your mother," Blair laughed. "I suppose you could tell me everything about how that car runs, too."

"Oh yeah right," Ricki answered sarcastically. "I don't know anything about cars. I'm no grease monkey. I just think it looks like it belongs to someone rich. I'll have a car like that some day...but I'll pay someone else to take care of it." Jo frowned at her daughter. She seemed so obsessed with money all the time. Maybe it was because they had gone without so much.

"Well," Blair said to the girl. "How would you like to ride in it? It's mine. You can ride with me if it's okay with your mom."

"Can I _please_? Please say yes Mom!" Ricki pleaded. Jo could see how much it meant to her daughter, but she wasn't sure it was a good idea. She knew Rick would never have allowed it, and he's be furious if he found out. But, if she was truly going to make amends, she had to be willing to do her part.

"Alright," she agreed and Rick hugged her right.

"Thanks Mom...thanks so much!" Ricki got in the car with Blair. Everyone else loaded their vehicles and they were off.

They drove down the familiar Peekskill streets. In Natalie's jeep, she and Tootie were remembering Tootie's driving test. They laughed thinking of how Natalie had hid in the back of the hearse while Tootie drove. Noah listened as his mother acted almost childish with her friend. He had never seen her that way.

Jo was drilling her children on appropriate behavior as she drove. Jordyn was sitting next to her and Charli and Katie were singing a song in the back seat. Ricki was the one she was really concerned about. She was such a rebel. But Ricki was riding with Blair, so Jo just prayed she would mind her manners. "Remember to say please and thank you. Don't fight or yell or run…"

In Blair's car, both Ricki and Blair were silent. Finally Ricki spoke up. "I remember you, you know."

"You do?" Blair asked. "What do you remember?"

"You and my mom," Ricki said. "The two of you used to always yell at each other, but it didn't matter. You always made up. You were kind of like Jordyn and me. We fight a lot, but we help each other too."

"We were best friends. We were _practically_ sisters." Blair smiled at Jo's daughter.

"Why did you start to hate my mom?" Ricki asked. "if you were like sisters? I get mad at my little sisters too, but I could never hate them the way to hated my mom."

"I never hated her," Blair said with sincere sadness. "We just had some bad things happen and it was hard for us. My little girl died and I couldn't handle seeing your mom so happy with you girls. It was selfish of me." Blair tried not to cry in front of Ricki.

"I don't think you were selfish, just sad. It seems to me that you and Mom were best friends until you needed each other the most. I'm glad you two are ready to make up now. I want to see my mom smile again."

Blair thought about such strong words coming from such a young girl. She was definitely Jo's daughter. No one else would have been able to affect her this way.

Blair looked at this girl. Ricki looked almost grown up. She had been three and a half years old the last time she had seen her. "You know, I remember the day you were born. It was the most exciting thing to happen to any of us. We were all so happy and we loved you so much. I guess I spoiled you a little. It used to make your mom pretty mad at me."

"My mom hates spoiled kids. She always says 'Erica Blair Bonner, you act like a spoiled brat!' I guess I do sometimes, but usually it's only because she is so mean to me." Ricki looked at Blair. "She's always worried about money, and the little kids always need things, and Jordyn has so many doctor's appointments...she's tired all the time and she wants me to take care of everything she can't. It's not fair."

"She loves you, Ricki. I think life has been pretty hard on her too." She forced a smile, "Tell her if she didn't want you to be spoiled, she shouldn't have named you after me!" With that, they both laughed. Before they knew it, they were at Mrs. G's house.

Beverly Ann was still trying to convince her sister that the holiday could be salvaged when she heard the cars pull up outside. She could not believe her plan had actually worked.  
"I wonder who that could be," Edna said. She too had heard the cars, but she was not expecting anyone.

"Oh, it's probably just someone going across the street." Beverly Ann wanted to keep the surprise until the very last possible moment.

Edna seemed satisfied with the answer until she heard footsteps on the porch. She walked over to the door and opened it before the doorbell even rang. What she saw was unexpected and her heart skipped a beat as she gasped in shock.

"SURPRISE!" Beverly Ann shouted. "I told you Christmas could be saved."


	10. Chapter 10

Everyone piled into Mrs. G.'s house. As they looked around everything seemed almost unchanged. Mrs. G hugged each of the women, and tears fell down everyone's cheeks. They explained how Beverly Ann had planned the reunion to help Edna. They told her how they had all made up. They told her they knew why she had not allowed them back into her home, but that they hoped they were welcome now.

"Of course you're welcome here," Edna's words were muffled by her sobs. "I wish I had tried harder back then. We have all lost so much time."

"We were not ready then," Blair responded. "We are now. This is the hardest thing any of us has ever done. It was worth it."

All of the women nodded in agreement. Then Natalie introduced her son to Mrs. G and Beverly Ann. "This is my son Noah. He is my pride and joy and I am his worst embarrassment," she laughed.

"Hi. It is nice to meet you," Noah said politely.

"Well, aren't you charming. I can see your mom has raised you right. How old are you?" Beverly Ann asked the young man.

"I am eight, and my _dad_ raised me right," Noah snickered and glanced at his mother. "I don't live with _her_."

Everyone looked at Natalie. She was really embarrassed. She had not wanted her friends to know she wasn't raising her son. Now she had no choice but to tell the truth and hope they were not too judgmental.

"Noah lives with his dad. We all thought it would be best for him considering my career is so demanding. But it works for us. We are all happy." Natalie hoped she sounded convincing, but the looks on everyone's faces did not seem too believing. Even Noah looked as if Natalie's explanation was unacceptable.

"Well, we're just glad Noah could come with you," Mrs. G. said trying to save the moment. "And who are these beautiful young ladies?" She looked over at Jo's four daughters still standing in the doorway.

"These are my girls," Jo answered. "This is Katie." Jo picked up the toddler and held her in her arms. "And this is Charli."

The little girl warmed up to new people instantly. "I'm in kindergarten and I know all my letters and my numbers…"

"She's not shy. I'll give her that," Jo laughed. "And you remember Ricki and Jordyn." She motioned for her oldest daughters to come closer.

"My, you are so grown up." Mrs. G. reached out and hugged the girls. "It has been so long since I have seen you. Do you remember me?"

"I remember your cookies," Ricki grinned. "They were the best. Mom's don't even come close."

"Well then, I guess we'll have to do some baking," Mrs. G. said.

As the reunited group of friends and extended family continued to talk and laugh and even cry, although the tears were joyful, Beverly Ann stood back and watched. She took pride in what she had accomplished. She had brought them all together again, and for the first time in weeks, Edna was smiling.


	11. Chapter 11

It was after five o'clock before everyone decided they had done enough reminiscing. Everyone was hungry and Edna wanted to prepare a big celebration dinner. Although everyone encouraged her not to go to any trouble, Edna had her mind made up. She and Beverly Ann headed into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

The kids decided to go outside and play in the snow. They grabbed their coats and gloves and bundled up from head to toe, hoping to have some time to play before dinner was ready.

"I don't think Katie should go out with the rest of you," Jo said. "She is too little." She started to take off the little girl's coat, but the two-year-old started to cry.

"Oh, come on Jo," Tootie pleaded. "How can you say 'no' to that darling face?"

Jo looked at her oldest daughter. "Will you keep a close eye on her?" she asked.

"Don't I _always_!" Ricki rolled her eyes in aggravation. "Come on small fry," she said to her baby sister as the five children walked out the door.

With the children gone and Edna and Beverly Ann in the kitchen, the four women were left alone. They were silent for a moment, just looking around the old house.

"I see Beverly Ann still has her piano," Tootie said. Everyone nodded.

"Too bad Andy couldn't be here," Natalie said.

"It would have been nice to see him," Blair agreed. They continued with small talk. Everyone knew the others were avoiding what was really on their minds. They had yet to discuss the tragic events that had torn them apart. Sure, they'd spent the past several hours focusing on the good times they'd had together, but the accident, the article, Debbie Jo's death, Rick's arrest, and Danny's suicide hadn't even been mentioned. All they had said was that they forgave each other and were sorry. They had not had a real discussion about the situation and even though they knew they needed to if they were really going to move on, no one wanted to bring it up and ruin the day.

Just then Noah came through the door crying. All four girls followed after him.  
"What happened?" Natalie asked noticing a small spot of blood on her son's forehead. "Are you okay?"

The little boy was crying and it was hard to understand what he was saying.

"He fell and hit his head on the sidewalk." Charli offered an explanation. "Ricki wasn't watching Katie and she went out by the street. Then Noah went after her and fell while he was running."

"It is barely a scratch. You'll be fine." Natalie said to her son. She did not want to coddle him. She thought he was too emotional about these things.

"Thank you for running out to get Katie," Jo said to the boy. "Why weren't _you _watching her?" she asked her daughter. Ricki just looked at her mother with little expression and didn't answer her. "Erica Blair Bonner, I asked you a question." Jo was really angry now. She did not want to yell at her daughter in front of everyone, but Ricki was always so irresponsible. "She could have been hurt. You promised to watch her."

"I _always_ have to watch her!" Ricki yelled. "_I'm_ not her mother. _You_ are! All I ever hear is 'Ricki watch your sister.' 'Ricki do the dishes.' 'Ricki clean up that mess.' When is somebody going to do stuff for me?" Ricki stormed out the door and sat on the porch crying.

Hearing the commotion from the kitchen, Edna ran in to see what was going on. She could tell from the expressions on everyone's faces that something had happened, but she was not sure what. Then she saw Noah's forehead.

"Honey, come with me," she comforted the child. "We'll get you a bandaid." Then she looked at Jordyn, Charli, and Katie. "Will you girls go into the kitchen and help Beverly Ann with dinner?" Edna and the children left the room.

"I wish she hadn't done that," Natalie said. "Noah is such a baby about these things. He needs to toughen up, not get his booboos kissed every time he has a little scratch."

"Oh come on Nat," Jo answered. "He's a little boy. He needs to be babied sometimes."

"So now I am a bad mother again?" Natalie replied. "Your own daughter hates you!"

"Ricki doesn't hate me!" Jo yelled. "She just needs to learn some responsibility."

"Talk about a child who needs to be babied," Natalie's voice was quivering from anger. "Jo, she's twelve years old and you expect her to act like an adult. Just because you have too many kids to take care of on your own does not mean it is Ricki's responsibility to do it for you. She is a little girl. Let her act like one!"

"How dare you tell me how to raise my kids," Jo was screaming and crying at the same time. "At least I love my girls enough to raise them myself. I didn't send them off to live with their father because I couldn't be bothered!"

Natalie was so angry about what Jo had said that she lost all control. She reached out and slapped her in the face. Jo was taken aback and her shock kept her from reacting right away.

"STOP IT!" Tootie shouted. "Both of you! What do you think your doing?"

"Tootie's right," Blair agreed. "The two of you need to cool off."

"You're right. We do need to cool off." Jo said. "I'm leaving. This was a bad idea. I should never have come back here." Rubbing the stinging spot her her cheek, and trying to hide the tears in her eyes, she walked into the kitchen to get the girls.


	12. Chapter 12

Jo walked into the kitchen. Mrs. G. had put a bandaid on Noah's forehead and he had stopped crying. Her three youngest daughters were busy tearing lettuce for salad and Mrs. G. and Beverly Ann were both busy at the stove. Jo wiped away her tears and cleared her throat.  
"Come on girls," she said. "We need to go."

"But Mom," Jordyn said, "Mrs. G. is going to teach me to make salad dressing."

"Maybe some other time Jordyn," Jo told her daughter. "Come on."

Tootie, Blair, and Natalie came into the kitchen. "We're going too, Noah," Natalie said to her son. "Get ready."

"Nat, _please_ don't leave," Tootie pleaded. "We can all work this out."

"What is going on here?" Mrs. G. asked. "Nobody's leaving this house!"

"Yes we are," Natalie replied. "It's best."

"It was a bad idea to come back here Mrs. G." Jo said. "We can't make this work. I'm sorry."

"You're _sorry_?" Mrs. G. looked puzzled. "How can you say that? I let all of you out of my life years ago. Now I have you back, and you are not leaving!" She was yelling now. She could not believe what was happening. "You are _not_ girls anymore. You're women. It's time you sat down and worked out these problems. No one is leaving until you do!"

"You can't keep us here, Mrs. G." Natalie responded.

"Do you want to bet?" Mrs. G. answered. "Sit down, all of you. You kids come with me. I think all this food can wait until tomorrow. We'll get Ricki off the porch, and Beverly Ann and I will take you kids out to dinner."

"Mrs. G.," Blair looked questioningly, "I'm not sure this is a good idea. You can't force people to do what they do not want to do."

"Blair, all four of you have a lot to talk about. Whether you decide to become best friends again, or never see each other, that is your choice." Mrs. G. suddenly looked very old. It was obvious that the situation was painful for her. "No one leaves until everyone sits and discusses this."

All four of the women looked sadly at her. Edna Garrett had always been there for them. She had loved them and solved their problems. She knew the only way to solve this problem was to let them solve it themselves. They couldn't let her down now, so reluctantly they all sat at the kitchen table.

Edna and Beverly Ann went into the living room to help the kids into their coats. Beverly Ann suggested they take her Winnebago in order to fit everybody. She took Noah, Jordyn, Charli, and Katie and loaded them in the vehicle. Edna sat on the porch next to Ricki.

"Where are you going?" the girl asked.

"To get something to eat," Mrs. G. offered a simple answer. "You want to come?"

Ricki was avoiding the question. "You need Katie's car seat. It's in Mom's car. I'll get it."

"Thanks for reminding me," Mrs. G. smiled at the girl. "You are a big help. I appreciate that."

"I wish my mom did." Ricki looked down. "Nothing I do is good enough for her."

"Ricki," Mrs. G. put her arm around the girl. "You know your mom loves you. You are actually a lot like her. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's true. You are both so stubborn. That's why you fight. You both think you're right and neither of you want to compromise."

Ricki began to cry. "I know my mom loves me, but she is always so busy. Jordyn always needs help or has doctors' appointments. Charli is always showing off how smart she is and Mom is always there cheering her on. And Katie needs attention because she's a baby. I need attention too. My mom always wants me to help her take care of everyone else, but she doesn't have time for me."

"Have you told her that?" Mrs. G. asked.

"I just did," Ricki replied.

"No honey, you didn't. You yelled at her. You screamed and stormed out of the room." Mrs. G. was beginning to see more of Jo in her daughter. "Right now, we're going to go eat supper. When we get back, you talk to your mom. I know she'll listen."

Mrs. G, and Ricki walked to Jo's car and took out Katie's car seat. Then they went to the Winnebago, got in, and the whole group went out to dinner.


	13. Chapter 13

Sitting around the kitchen table everyone was silent. Nobody knew what to say to solve the problem. Then Natalie spoke up. "I'm sorry I slapped you," she said almost whispering.  
"I know what I said was probably unfair,"

Jo responded. "I just felt like you were attacking me. I'm a good mother you know. I work full time and try to be a good mom to four kids. I know I rely on Ricki to help out a lot. Maybe I shouldn't expect so much out of her. But I _do_ love her. I love all of my kids. I do the best I can! "

"So do I," Natalie answered. "I love my son, every bit as much as you love your girls. I did not give him up willingly. I fought for him, but I lost him."

"Nat, we didn't know," Tootie said.

"I guess I should have been more honest with everyone. It's just been so long, and I didn't want anybody to think I was a failure." Natalie was upset, but felt relief at finally telling the truth.

"You keep Noah whenever you're allowed to, don't you? You don't let him down." Jo tried to make Natalie feel better. "At least you gave your son a father who cares enough about him to take care of him. That's the best thing a mother can do. Rick didn't even fight for our girls. He doesn't even pay child support for them. Sometimes I think he doesn't even want them anymore."

"Jo?" Blair said gently. "I didn't know you and Rick were divorced."

"Well you don't see him around here, do you?" Jo sighed.

"I thought maybe he just felt uncomfortable about coming." Blair spoke softly.

"We've been divorced for over a year." Jo sounded both shy and angry discussing her ex-husband. "Not that he didn't have some opinions about this. He was so angry when I told him I wanted to bring the girls here for Christmas. He flat out told me I couldn't come. Do you believe that? He has the nerve to think he can control my life."

"A man had the nerve to tell Jo Polniaczek what she could or could not do." Blair laughed. "He's brave, that's for sure!" Everyone began to laugh.

"I guess I just never thought I would be divorced." Jo stopped laughing and turned serious. "I still love him, you know. We just couldn't make it work. We tried...probably longer than we should have."

Suddenly Tootie spoke up. "Jeff and I almost got divorced," she said quite abruptly. All eyes turned to Tootie waiting to hear the rest of her story. "It was right after we found out we couldn't have a baby," Tootie said. She knew she had just revealed a very personal piece of information about her life, but she felt this was the time.

"Tootie, I'm so sorry," Natalie said. "You and Jeff would be great parents."

"Well, we tried for awhile but the doctor said it was impossible. Jeff wanted a baby so badly. All we did was fight. Finally, we agreed to adoption."

"Well, that's a good idea," Natalie told her friend. "Have you looked into it?"

"Actually, we've been approved." Tootie smiled. "We are expecting to get our son right after Christmas." Everyone was excited and told Tootie how great it was and how happy they were for her. "I just hope it is as good as we've planned." Tootie looked unsure. "I have a successful career now. I am an individual. I can't see myself as somebody's mom. Maybe if I were pregnant, I would feel a connection to the baby and my maternal instincts would kick in. But now, I'm worried my son will have an awful mother."

"Are you saying you don't want the baby?" Blair asked.

"It's not that," Tootie insisted. "I do want him. I'm just afraid I won't love him as much as he deserves to be loved. I'm an awful person aren't I?" Tootie began to cry.

"Tootie, you are not an awful person." Natalie tried to comfort her friend.

"How can you say that, Nat," Tootie continued to cry. "You're adopted. I'm sure your mother didn't feel this way before she adopted you."

"What Natalie is saying is that all mothers feel some of what your feeling, Tootie," Jo told her. "I have four kids and I'm still scared I won't do what's right for them or I'll ruin their lives. You're not scared because you don't love this baby. You're scared because you do love him."

"And don't let anybody tell you you're a bad mother because your career is important to you." Blair added. "You have to be true to yourself. I know it has been a long time since I was somebody's mother," Blair paused sadly for a moment, "but I still remember how overwhelming it was. In order to give the best of yourself to your child, you have to do what is best for you. You are a good actress and your career makes you happy. This child deserves a mother who is happy."

Tootie was beginning to feel a little better about the emotions she was feeling. She didn't know how she had ever gotten along without these people in her life. "Thanks," she said. "I think I'll call Jeff later and let him know just how excited I am about our son."

"Well, I think we have covered some important issues," Natalie said. "Mrs. G. should be happy."

"I don't think so Natalie," Blair said. "She wants us to talk about the accident. I know none of us want to, but even though it hurts, I think we need to."

Everyone became suddenly silent.


	14. Chapter 14

It was getting pretty late when Mrs. G. and Beverly Ann arrived home with the children. Edna knew the situation in the kitchen was probably pretty intense by now, and she did not want to interrupt. She decided to put the kids to bed herself, promising them that their mothers would look in on them later.

She took all five children into Natalie and Tootie's old bedroom. It was small, but five children could sleep there comfortably. Noah slept in his mother's old bed and Ricki helped Jordyn climb into Tootie's. They had all decided Jordyn should take the bed because it would be better for her legs. Mrs. G. pulled a large air mattress out of the closet, and Ricki filled it with the air pump. Then Ricki, Charli and Katie lay down on the mattress.

"I want my mommy," Katie whimpered.

"She'll be up here later to kiss you good night," Ricki said. "I'll sleep here with you and you'll be okay. I promise."

"Good night kids," Mrs. G. smiled. It felt good to have these children here with her. It had been a long day and within a few minutes, everyone was asleep.

Then Edna walked into the next room. It was the room Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie had shared for years before the extra bedroom was added. Even when Natalie and Tootie moved into the next room, all four of them would often gather in this room to talk. Edna thought of how she had missed that time in their lives. She and Bruce had been happy together working for the Peace Corps, but she had missed her girls. By the time she came back, they had all moved out. Not long after that, they had walked out of each other's lives. Now she had them back.

Edna pulled two roll away beds in from the hall closet. Blair and Jo's old beds were still there. As she made all four beds, she thought of what was going on in the kitchen. She hoped everything would work out. She hoped these beds would not lay empty for another night.

In the kitchen, all was silent. The four women sat at the table staring blankly at one another. No one knew how to start this conversation. It had been so long. It was painful to think about. They knew what they said could draw them closer together or tear them apart.

"I guess I should start by being honest," Natalie said quite frankly. "I know I made a mistake. Jo, I know I had no business writing what I did about Rick. At the time, I thought it was my only choice. I needed my job with the Peekskill Press and my boss was pressuring me to write it. I hadn't told you guys, but I was pregnant with Noah. I had to find a way to support both of us. That is no excuse for what I did, but it is all I have."

"You were _pregnant_?" Tootie asked with shock. "And you didn't tell me? I thought we were best friends."

"I didn't want to hear a lecture from you Tootie," Natalie replied. "I had screwed my life up enough without hearing about it from you. I guess I was kind of embarrassed to tell you."

"I would have tried to help you," Tootie said. "I would have been supportive."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Natalie knew she had hurt Tootie all over again. She felt terrible, but was relieved that she had told the truth after all these years.

"I guess I should have known something was going on," Tootie said. "I was so caught up in everything. I didn't know who to believe. I still think it was wrong for you to write the article, but I guess I understand what you were feeling at the time."

"Thanks Tootie," Natalie tried to smile. She had hurt so many people, but it felt good to have Tootie on her side again.

"I know why you made the choice you did," Jo's voice was nervous and shaky and it took everyone by surprise.

"You do?" Natalie questioned. She expected Jo to be the last person to understand what she had done.

"Yeah, I mean, you did what you had to do for your son. I guess I just felt betrayed. It was like you chose Blair over me, at least that was how I felt at the time." Jo looked down at the table, unable to face any of them as she spoke. She was about to confess something she had never said aloud before, and she felt guilty about it. "I know in your article, you had to blame someone for the accident. I know why you chose Rick. It was his fault. All you did was write the truth. How can I blame you for that?" Jo was crying now. She was remembering all that had happened. It was a painful memory.

"What are you saying, Jo?" Tootie asked. "Did Rick tell you the accident was his fault?"

Jo was still crying. "Of course not," she said. "He's always insisted Danny was driving that day, but he's lying. I know that."

"How do you know that?" Blair asked. She could not believe what she was hearing.

"Rick was drinking that day. Danny wasn't. I don't know why Danny would let him drive, but something must've happened. I just wish Rick had admitted the truth. I don't know why I stood by him. Blair, I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you." Jo was almost whispering now and it was hard to hear her words through her sobs. "My husband killed your daughter."

Tootie walked around the table and put her arms around Jo. "It's going to be okay," she said. "Nobody blames you. If Rick did drive the car that day, he's the one to blame...not you. And your daughter was hurt in that accident too. You've had to live with that and deal with that, just like Blair had to deal with Debbie Jo's death. Jo, you were just as much a victim in all this as Blair."

"_More_," Blair's voice was soft, but the sound shocked the room.

"What?" Jo looked up and wiped her red eyes.

"You were more of a victim," Blair said, "and it is my fault. I'm sorry, and I don't know how you will ever forgive me."

"What are you talking about, Blair?" Natalie asked. Everyone was confused by what Blair was saying.

"Debbie Jo died. I don't know how I made it through that. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I needed to blame someone for my pain, and Rick was the person I thought was responsible for her death, so I took my anger out on him by having him arrested. When the case was dismissed, I was even more bitter. I hated him, and Jo I hated you for staying with him." Blair paused for a moment, then she went on. "Then, Danny committed suicide, and I swear I thought my own life was over. I had no one left. That was when I learned the truth. I was selfish and angry and hurt, I couldn't let anyone know. Jo, you have spent the last nine years watching your little girl suffer through operations and learn to walk with crutches, and all that time you thought your husband was responsible not just for Debbie Jo's death, but Jordyn's pain as well. I know you...and I know you've felt guilty over what you thought he did. But I've felt guilty too. I've felt guilty because for all these years, I have known the truth, and I kept it a secret. I am so sorry." Blair was crying. She knew she would not be forgiven for what she had done, but she also knew that it was time the truth came out. She reached into her purse and pulled out the folded sheet of notebook paper she had placed there earlier.

"I don't understand," Jo said. She looked Blair in the eye for the first time and they both saw each other's pain.

"Read this," Blair said. "It is Danny's suicide note. Read it and you'll understand." She passed the note across the table to Jo.

Jo unfolded the paper. She didn't know what she was going to find written on the worn piece of notebook paper. Slowly, she began to read it aloud, _"Dearest Blair, I know you will never forgive me for what I have done, but I hope someday you will find it in your heart to try."_ Jo stopped reading and looked at Blair. "I can't read this," she said. "It is too personal."

"Read it," Blair insisted. "You need to read it."

Jo went on reading the letter. _"Losing our daughter was the hardest thing I have ever gone through until now. I loved Debbie Jo, and Blair, I love you, and that is why what I have to say is so painful. I know you will be hurt by what I am about to write, but it is time you knew the truth. I was driving the car. I killed our baby girl._" Jo stopped reading. She was stunned. "I can't finish reading this," she said. She put the paper down.

Blair was still sobbing. She looked at Jo and knew she was hurt by the secret. Still, she wanted everyone to hear the whole letter. They needed to know the truth. "Will you finish reading it, Natalie?" she asked.

Natalie picked up the letter and began to read where Jo left off. _"I was not drinking that day. You know I never drink, but I do have another problem. I have been using drugs for years, and I had taken some pills that day. I never thought my drug use would result in the death my child. When the police came, I had to tell them Rick was driving. ____And Rick was right, I did pay off the lab tech to tamper with the toxicology report. _All I could think of was how the press would have a heyday with the story if they discovered my drug problem. I convinced myself I was trying to protect you, that it would be harder on you if you knew it was my fault, but I know I was really just lying to protect myself. I am sorry I lied to you. I am sorry I accused an innocent man because I was too much of a coward to take responsibility for what I had done. Watching you cry yesterday, knowing we should have been celebrating Debbie Jo's birthday, not mourning her death and knowing it was all my fault is more than I can take. My drug use killed our little girl. It seems only fair that it should result in my death as well. I cannot live with what I did any longer. I am taking a bottle of painkillers, and going to sleep for good. If God has mercy on me, maybe I will see Debbie Jo one more time. Then I can tell her how sorry I am, too. I love you both, and I never wanted either of you to be hurt. I hope you believe that. Love, Danny." Natalie stopped reading. She had to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She looked around the table. Everyone was motionless. Everyone was in shock.

Jo was the first one to speak. "It wasn't Rick's fault?" Her words were more of a question than a revelation. "I always thought it was. For nine years I have blamed him."

"I know," Blair said, "and believe me, I'm sorry. I should have told you the truth. But after all I had done, I just didn't know how." Blair's face was tear-stained. Her mascara had left two black circles under her eyes. She looked like a different person, and sitting there at that table, giving her confession to her friends, she felt like a different person. She was not a spoiled rich kid anymore. She could not buy her way out of this situation. "It has been nine years. We are all different people than we were the last time we sat in this house together. We have lived our lives without each other. We've gone through the good times and the bad, and we have chosen to lock each other out. Now, we've decided to open our lives up to one another again. I know I may have ruined that by revealing the truth about the accident. And I understand if none of you can forgive me. But I hope you can at least be happy that you know the truth now. And if none of you can forgive me and let me back into your lives, I hope you will at least stay friends with each other. You all deserve to have each other's friendship again."

"What you did was wrong, Blair," Jo said. "You should have told us the truth. But, I know you were grieving. You lost Debbie Jo and then you lost Danny. None of us can possibly understand the pain you were feeling." Jo stood up and walked around the table. Blair stood up too, and the two women tearfully embraced.

"You're my best friend," Blair whispered through her tears. "You always have been. I love you."

"I love you too," Jo replied.

"How could we have let nine years go by?" Tootie asked.

"We never will again," Natalie answered.


	15. Chapter 15

It was after midnight when they made their way up the stairs to their old bedroom. Mrs. G. had left a note on the banister stating that the children were asleep in Natalie and Tootie's old room, and that four beds were made up in the other room for them. As they entered the room, it was strange. It was as if time had rewound itself to when life had been much simpler and their biggest problems revolved around dates and studying.

Natalie and Jo both walked into the next room to check on their children. Natalie smiled at Noah, sleeping blissfully in her old bed. She remembered when she had thought his future depended on her writing that article. Now she knew she had made the wrong choice. She had lost Noah and her friends. Now she had her friends back. She needed to get Noah back too. She decided at that moment that she would fight for him again. This time, she would not let herself lose. She kissed Noah on the cheek, pulling the covers up under his chin, before going back to the other room.

Jo walked over to the bed where Jordyn was sleeping. She kissed her forehead and then straightened her leg braces. She realized that this was the first time since the accident she had looked at her daughter's legs and not felt guilty. For years she had felt like a horrible mother because she had forgiven Rick and loved him, even though she thought he was responsible for the accident. Now she knew the truth and it was as if a weight had been lifted from her chest.

Turning away from Jordyn's bed, she knelt down to the air mattress and kissed Charli and Katie. She was just about to kiss Ricki when the girl opened her eyes. "Mom?" Ricki asked sleepily.

"Why are you still awake?" Jo asked her. "It is after midnight."

"I was waiting for you," Ricki answered. "I'm sorry I got so mad earlier. I shouldn't have run out like that. I know I should've been watching Katie."

"I'm sorry too," Jo smiled. "I love you, you know that. And I depend on you a lot. But I am going to try not to put so much responsibility on you. I don't want you to grow up just yet. You're still my little girl."

Jo reached across the mattress and hugged her daughter. Ricki looked at her mother's puffy eyes. "Mom," she asked, "have you been crying?"

"Yeah, honey," Jo answered. "I have. But don't worry. They were happy tears." Jo smiled at her daughter and then went into the next room to go to sleep.

The next day was Christmas Eve. By the time Jo woke up, everyone was already downstairs. She looked at her watch and saw in was after ten o'clock. She never slept that late. Katie was always up by seven o'clock. Why hadn't anyone woken her up? Looking into the next room she could see all of the kids were up already and she knew she'd better go find them before they wreaked havoc on Mrs. Garrett's house, but before she could even get dressed she felt dizzy and had to sit down. Closing her eyes she tried to will herself to feel better, but her stomach was queasy and she knew nothing was going to work. She usually ate crackers in the morning to settle her stomach and she wished she'd thought to bring them with her, but it was too late for that now. Besides, if the others saw her nibbling on saltines, they'd probably figure out she was pregnant and she couldn't face that right now. Luckily no one was around as she made her way into the small bathroom and emptied her stomach into the toilet. Kneeling there on the bathroom floor, tears in her eyes, all she wanted was for someone to comfort her. She'd been sick with all of her pregnancies, but Rick had always been there to hold her hair, rub her back, and just try to soothe her as she dealt with the morning sickness. He'd been good at it, even if his constant attention had sometimes worn on her nerves. She missed that now, and she was mad at herself for it. She wasn't even going to go through with this pregnancy. She didn't deserve to have someone take care of her.

When she finally felt well enough, Jo headed downstairs. She hoped the girls weren't bothering Mrs. G. or Beverly Ann. She knew her girls could be a lot to handle and the two older women weren't used to having children around anymore.

"I just can't believe it," Natalie said. "How could they?"

"How could who what?" Jo asked coming down the stairs.

"Blair just told us that the board wants to close Eastland again," Tootie answered. "Low enrollment, and they lost their counselor."

"That's too bad," Jo said. "Have you seen the girls?"

"They are in the attic with Mrs. G." Natalie answered. "She wanted the kids to help her find the Christmas ornaments so we could go downtown and pick out a tree."

"Oh," Jo said. "Why didn't someone wake me up? I swear I never sleep this late."

"You looked tired," Blair said. "You still do. Are you okay?"

Jo nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. You should've got me up."

"Well after last night, we figured you could use the sleep." Blair reached over and carefully patted her hand.

"You still should have woke me up," Jo said. "I know the girls can be a handful."

"They were perfect angels," Tootie said. "I hope my son will learn to be so well behaved."

Jo smiled, "They're good kids...most of the time. I'm sure your little boy will be too."

"Anyway," Blair said. "I told them that Eastland simply cannot close. I mean, what will I do without my job?"

"I know what you mean," Jo said. "I lost my job working for SRS. It was the same day you called me to invite me here. I don't know I'm going to do. I could barely make ends meet before. Now, when we get home, I'm going to have to look for a new job."

"That's terrible," Natalie said. "Why did they fire you? I can see it now. You punched your boss, didn't you?" Everyone laughed. Natalie was making jokes again. It seemed just like old times.

"I may have wanted to," Jo laughed. "But I didn't. I think I did call him a pea brain though."

They were all laughing now. Suddenly, their laughter was interrupted by a knock at the door. Beverly Ann came in to answer it. What she saw when she opened the door was definitely a surprise. There was a large Christmas tree standing on the porch.

"I thought we were going to get a tree later," Tootie said. "Since when do the trees come directly to your house?"

"Merry Christmas," said a voice from behind the tree. A young man peered around the greenery. "Surprise!" He shouted.

"Andy!" Beverly Ann screamed. "It's Andy! What are you doing here?" She embraced her son.

"I thought I would be welcome." Andy said. "I can go if you want."

"Oh, you hush now," Beverly Ann said smiling.

Edna had heard the commotion from upstairs and came down o see what was going on, the five children trailing behind her. When she saw Andy, she nearly leaped for joy. "Andy," she said, "I'm so happy to see you. Where is Gina?"

"Gina is still in Colorado. She really wanted to spend Christmas with her family. But when Mom called and told me about everyone else being here for Christmas, I knew I had to be here. Gina understood that." Andy smiled.

Andy walked over to where Blair, Jo, Natalie, and Tootie were standing. He was happy to see them again. It was like having all of his family together at last. "So Tootie," he said, "I've seen your show. The students watch it everyday on the big screen TV in the Langley student union. They never believe me when I tell them we used to live together." Andy laughed as he gave Tootie a hug.

"Well I hope you defined _lived together_," Tootie said.

"Of course I did," Andy answered unconvincingly. "And Nat, I love all your books. Do you have any others coming out soon?"

Natalie put her arm around Andy. He was just like a little brother to her. "I'm supposed to have one out by spring," she said. "But if I don't come up with an idea soon, I'm afraid I'll never publish a book again."

"That's too bad," he said. "Maybe you could write a book about all of us. I think we're worthy of publication." Everyone seemed to agree with Andy's suggestion and encouraged Natalie.

"Maybe I will," Natalie said. She was really thinking about it. Her career might be saved after all.

"So, Blair and Jo," Andy smiled at them. He knew it had to be hard for them to come here. He did not want to bring up anything from the past. "How have you two been?"

"We are both better now," Jo answered. Andy reached out and hugged them both.

"Well," Andy said. "What do you say we decorate this tree?" The children all ran down from the steps where they had been standing. They were already going through boxes of bulbs and lights. Mrs. G. began to sing Christmas carols, and everyone joined in.

Blair reached for her purse. She had something she had to do.

"Where are you going?" Jo asked her. "Don't you want to help decorate?"

"I'll be back," Blair answered. "There's just one thing I still have to do."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Jo asked. She was a little concerned by Blair's strange behavior.

"No," Blair said. Then she smiled. "You stay and help decorate. I'll be right back. I have to go to Eastland."

"Why do you have to go to Eastland, now?" Jo asked her.

"That is my little secret," Blair smirked. "You'll just have to wait and see."


	16. Chapter 16

When Blair returned from Eastland, the whole house looked Christmassy. The tree was beautiful. She was much later than she had planned, and the lights were sparkling and a few gifts had been placed neatly underneath. Blair carried a gift in her hands. It was a small box, wrapped in green and gold paper. It was her surprise. She carefully placed it under the tree.  
Everyone was in the kitchen when Blair walked in. They were making the dinner Mrs. G. and Beverly Ann had started the night before. "Do you need any help?" she asked.

"You can peel some potatoes," Natalie answered, laughing a little as she said it. She knew it was Blair's least favorite job. Blair grabbed the potatoes and the peeler.

"Where have you been?" Jo asked. "You said you would be right back. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is perfect," Blair answered. She continued to peel the potatoes.

Before long, dinner was ready and everyone sat down and enjoyed the meal together. It was the first meal they had all shared in years and it was pleasant. After dinner, the children were so excited that it was chaotic in the house. They were running around and talking about what they hoped they would get for Christmas. Finally, it was time for them to go to bed, and all of the adults were relieved to have a little peace and quiet.

The children had been asleep for a few hours when everyone else finally went to bed. Andy was sleeping on the couch, and everyone else went upstairs. Although they were all tired, Jo, Blair, Natalie, and Tootie could not go to sleep. They spent another hour talking. Tootie was concerned because she had not been able to get a hold of Jeff all day. Natalie told everyone of how she planned to fight for custody of Noah. Jo talked about the few gifts she had bought the girls for Christmas. Blair told everyone that she thought she had found a replacement for Mrs. Gellman. Finally, they all drifted off to sleep.

Jo had not been asleep very long when she heard Katie crying in the next room. She walked in and picked up the little girl, but couldn't seem to calm her down. Katie sometimes woke up crying if she had a bad dream and Jo figured it was probably scary for her sleeping in a strange place. She didn't want everyone else to wake up, so she carried Katie downstairs. She remembered Andy was on the couch, so she took the back stairs to the kitchen instead, surprised to find the kitchen light was on.

Jo walked into the kitchen to find Mrs. Garrett baking. Edna looked up at her, "What are you two doing up?" she asked.

"Katie had a bad dream, so I brought her down here to rock her back to sleep," Jo explained. "Why are you still up?"

"It is just not Christmas without fresh baked Christmas cookies," Edna replied. "I haven't had any time until now to bake them. Besides, I couldn't sleep."

Jo sat down and began to rock Katie back and forth. She twirled her fingers through her daughter's soft blonde curls, trying to soothe her and Katie was back to sleep in no time. Edna came over and sat next to her. Jo looked down at Katie, sleeping in her arms and Edna looked at the little girl as well.

"She is a beautiful child," Edna said softly.

"Yeah, she looks like her daddy," Jo sighed. "The other girls look like me, but Katie...when I look at her all I can see is Rick."

"I can see a little of you in her too," Edna insisted. "When she smiles. She has your smile."

"Thanks," Jo forced a smile.

"All of your girls are so sweet. You are a wonderful mother to them Jo. I know Rick is not always there for you, but you have done a good job with them." Edna smiled gently.

Jo thought about what Mrs. G. was saying to her. She felt a tear fall down her cheek and quickly wiped it away.

"Jo, what's wrong?" Edna asked. "I know something has been bothering you. Do you want to tell me what it is?"

Jo looked up at Mrs. Garrett. After all these years, she could still sense when one of them had a problem. How did she do it? She thought about whether or not she should say anything to Mrs. G. Finally she just said it. "I'm pregnant again."

"Jo," She sounded shocked. "How? I mean, I thought you and Rick were divorced."

"Let's just say we've remained friends," Jo answered. "How could I have let this happen?"

"Well, a baby is not the worst thing in the world. In fact, it's a blessing. Maybe it will be a boy this time. That would be nice." Edna tried to sound upbeat, but she knew she wasn't making Jo feel any better.

"Mrs. G.," Jo said. "I'm not going to have this baby. I _can_'_t_."

"What?" Edna could not believe what she had heard. "I don't understand."

Jo tried to explain her decision. "Rick doesn't want this baby. We already have four children we can't afford to take care of. I don't even have a job anymore."

"You said _Rick_ doesn't want the baby," Edna sighed. "What about you?"

"I didn't want another baby either, Mrs. G. This was a huge mistake," Jo tried to hold back her tears. "It wouldn't be fair to anyone for me to have this baby. I'm having an abortion...after Christmas, when we get home. I should've done it before now."

Edna didn't know what to say. She couldn't believe this was the choice Jo had made. It was so unlike her, but all of them had changed. They had been through so much. They were different people. "Jo, the abortion...was this Rick's decision, or yours?"

"It was _our_ decision." Jo answered softly.

"Have you told anyone else?" Edna asked sadly.

"Like who?" Jo questioned her.

"Like your friends upstairs. You may need them to support you in this. Abortion is a traumatic experience. You'll need your friends." Edna tried to sound understanding. "You don't want to go through this alone."

"I could never tell them Mrs. G. They would hate me. They would never understand." Jo was almost yelling, but stopped so as not to wake up Katie. She lowered her voice. "Blair lost her only child in a tragic accident. Natalie was forced to give up her son. Tootie cannot ever have her own biological child. After everything they have been through, they would never understand me choosing not to have my child. They would think I was an awful person."

"Would they feel that way, or do you feel that way?" She knew that Jo was agonizing over this decision. If she decided to go through with the abortion, Edna would support her, but she wanted to make sure Jo did what she felt was right. She didn't want her to feel pressured into making a choice she would regret.

"Probably both," Jo admitted. "I need to take Katie upstairs. Good-night." Jo still had tears in her eyes as she carried her daughter upstairs.


	17. Chapter 17

Everyone woke up early the next morning. Christmas had come, and the children were all anxious to open gifts. The light was barely shining through the windows when they all came downstairs. It was nice to have everyone together for the holiday.

They had not been opening presents very long when someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it," Tootie said laughing as she watched Noah try to skate around the room on the roller skates he had just unwrapped. She walked to the door. Standing in the doorway was the best Christmas present she could have imagined. "Jeff!" she shouted. Jeff was standing in the doorway holding a baby boy, their son. "What are you doing…How…I mean what is going on?" Tootie was stumbling over her words.

"Ms. Mulligan called me yesterday and said we could pick him up," Jeff explained. "I told her you had been called out of town, but she said it would be alright for me to pick him up. Then I decided our family could not be apart on our son's first holiday with us. So here we are."

Tootie took the little boy from Jeff. She held him close to her and kissed his cheek. The baby smiled at her.

"Attention everyone," Tootie announced. Everyone turned to look at Tootie and her family. "I would like you all to meet my son, Ontario Ramsey Williams." Tootie was beaming with pride as she introduced her friends to her new son.

"Oh, he's so cute," Blair said. "Look at those chubby little cheeks."

"Hi there little sweetie pie," Edna cooed over the baby. "Welcome to our family."

"Tootie he is darling," Beverly Ann added. Andy walked over to Jeff and shook his hand to congratulate him on his new son.

"I am really happy for you Tootie," Jo smiled. "He is lucky to have you for a mom."

The phone began to ring and Edna went to answer it. All of the children were gathering around the baby.

"Congratulations Tootie," Natalie said to her friend. "I know you and Jeff will be great parents." Now she and Tootie both had sons. She felt that made them even closer. "Can I ask you something though? Did I hear you wrong, or did you say his name is Ontario?"

"Yes Natalie. His name is Ontario. I know it is a little unusual, but it is his birth name. He's fourteen months old. We couldn't change his first name now. Besides, I like it. It is special and unique, just like he is." Tootie kissed the baby again.

"Well I like it," Jo said. "It suits him perfectly."

Natalie laughed a little, "It does kind of grow on you."

Mrs. G. came back to the happy group. "Jo, the phone is for you. It's Rick. He wanted to tell the girls Merry Christmas."

"I'll take it in the kitchen," Jo said. She walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone.

"Hello," she said.

"How's everything there?" Rick asked her, his disappointment still apparent in his voice.

"Everything's fine," Jo answered. "Rick, I have to tell you something, about the accident. I know Danny was driving the car. It wasn't your fault and you didn't deserve all that happened because of it. He had a drug problem and that is what caused the accident. I'm so sorry I ever doubted you...I blamed you and that was wrong. I'm so sorry..."

"How did you find this out?" Rick was shocked by what Jo had said. He knew she had blamed him, but he didn't think she would ever admit it.

"Blair told me," Jo answered. "It was all in Danny's suicide note."

"Oh," was the only response he could muster. He was still in shock. He'd known the truth all along and no one had believed him. He'd been so angry for so long that he wasn't sure how to react now.

"There is one more thing," Jo said. Her voice was shaky. "I know you're not going to like this, but Rick...I want to have this baby."

He wasn't surprised, but he wasn't happy either. They'd made a decision together about how to deal with this pregnancy and she'd changed her mind without even consulting him. "Jo, we've been over this. We don't have the money..."Rick tried to stay calm.

"It's not about the money," Jo insisted. "It's about our _child_. I know you don't let yourself think about it that way, and I can't blame you for that. It's easier not to. But Rick, I can't pretend this isn't our baby. I've tried. But I keep throwing up and my bra's too tight and I feel tired and bloated...and I know I'm _pregnant_. And every other time I've been pregnant, it's been a baby..._our little baby_...and I can't just turn off those feelings this time."

She started to cry and Rick closed his eyes and sighed. He knew she was right. He'd known it all along, but he didn't want to admit it. "They told you to have the baby, didn't they?" he asked. "Your friends...they made this decision for you."

"They don't even know I'm pregnant." Jo cried. "I made this decision on my own. I know you don't want me to, and I don't know how I'll be able to afford another child, but I've made up my mind. I couldn't live with myself otherwise. I hope you can understand that."

"I guess I'll have to," Rick said. He did understand, but he was scared because he knew he hadn't been the best father since the divorce and he didn't want to keep letting Jo and the kids down. One more mouth to feed wasn't going to make things any better. "Can I talk to the girls? I want to tell them Merry Christmas."

Jo went back to the living room. She told the girls their dad was on the phone. All four of them rushed to the kitchen to talk to him. They loved him so much. Maybe he had not been such a bad father to them. Jo knew he loved them too.

"Well," Blair said. "We still have presents to open." She picked up the green and gold box she had placed under the tree. She handed it to Jo.

"What is this?" Jo asked.

"Open it and see," Blair answered.

Jo opened the box. Inside was a white piece sheet of paper. Printed on the top were the words "Eastland School Contract of Employment."

"I don't understand," Jo looked confused. "What is this?"

"Well," Blair said. "I need to replace the counselor at Eastland and you just lost your job as an SRS counselor. So, I figured this would take care of both of our problems at once."

"You want me to work at Eastland?" Jo was still questioning what Blair had said.

"That is a great idea!" Tootie said.

"And I bet Jo could help you come up with ideas to recruit more students," Natalie said. "Then they would not close the school. Maybe I'll use Eastland in my new book. The publicity should help enrollment."

"Wait a minute," Jo said. She was beginning to like the idea herself, but there were still some problems. "Even if I take this job, the girls and I will have to move here. I don't know if I can find a place in Peekskill I can afford."

"Simple," Blair said. "You can all move in with me."

"I don't know," Jo replied.

"My house is huge and empty," Blair tried to convince Jo. "It needs people in it. And you and I lived together for years. We can do it again. I would love to have you and the girls there."

"Before you commit yourself, I need to tell you something." Jo looked at everyone. "I'm going to have a baby." She expected everyone to gasp from shock, but they didn't. They all seemed to think it was happy news.

"Well then, you see," Blair said. "You really do need this job. What do you say?"

Just then the girls walked in from the kitchen. They were anxious to see what the commotion was about.

"How would you girls like to move to Peekskill?" Blair asked.

"Where would we live?" Ricki asked.

"You and your mom could stay with me in my house," Blair answered. "It would be great."

"Could Daddy come and see us?" Charli asked. Jo looked at Blair. Blair nodded at Jo.

"Yes," Jo answered. "Your dad could come and visit you."

"I think it would be neat," Jordyn said. The response seemed to be unanimous.

"Alright," Jo said. "I guess we're moving to Peekskill."

Everyone was happy. Mrs. G., who just days earlier had contemplated the meaning of her life, now saw the difference she had made. Tootie and Jeff were sitting on the couch playing with little Ontario. Natalie was helping Noah around the room on his roller skates. Blair was watching as Jo signed her name to the Eastland Contract of Employment. Andy was helping Katie play a board game with Ricki, Jordyn, and Charli. Beverly Ann sat down at the piano. She began to play a Christmas carol. Everyone stopped what they were doing and gathered around the piano. They were together again, together forever.

**The End...**

**I hope everyone enjoyed this story. As I mentioned before, it was my first ever fanfic written way back in 2000. There is a sequel to it, and if people are interested I will try to post it soon. Thanks again for reading!**


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